Self Compassion

我們是世界上對自己批評得最嚴厲的判官。壓力與不開心,許多時候不是來自別人,而是源於自己的聲音。

所以,快樂的第一步是要善待自己,研究指出,正面對待及包容自己錯失,給予自己足夠愛與鼓勵的人,比起其他認為「自己總是那麼失敗,條件不如人」的人,身心更健康。<< 哈哈,我想,這是常識吧,研究結果是給那些只信奉數據的人看?

回歸正題,我想介紹以下這個Self-compassion Letter的練習,簡單來說,即是自己寫信給自己,自己的病自己救。

What is Self-Compassion ?
Quieting your inner critic and replacing it with a voice of support, understanding and care.

每月至少寫一封Self-compassion letter 給自己,並在你最缺乏自信、感到最挫敗的時候重看,對改善負面情緒有莫大幫助。

以下是寫信的內容及方法:

1. identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or not good enough. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life.

2. Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write.

3. The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike. As you write, follow these guidelines:

– Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?

– Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.

– Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself.
– In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.

– After writing the letter, put it down for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.